Ludwig van Beethoven’s (16 December 1770 – 26 March 1827) birthday is generally celebrated on December 16, although there is no documentary proof of the date. We know for certain he was baptized on the 17th. Today is the 250th anniversary of his birth.
A number of these verses have appeared before in this series, but are used here again to help celebrate this special anniversary.
Some of the following are based on truth, some are mostly nonsense.
Note: A double dactyl is a biographically inspired humorous poem with very strict structural rules. Here are links to two definitions for those who are curious. The first from the Poetry Foundation is clearer but less accurate than the second, from Wikipedia. Take your pick. The classic statement is the book Jiggery-Pokery: A Compendium of Double Dactyls by Anthony Hecht and John Hollander (New York, 1967).
A BEETHOVEN FESTIVAL:
LIMERICKS, DOGGEREL, AND DOUBLE DACTYLS FOR HIS BIRTHDAY
THE SYMPHONIES
Dedicated Material
Said one of his cronies when shown a part
Of the symphony written for Bonaparte,
“Although it’s heroic,
Prepare to be stoic
When all of Europa is blown apart!”
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Higher Purposes
The Ninth has a choral finale
With soprano parts famously squally,
But nobody minds it
Because everyone finds it
So noble, uplifting, and jolly.
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Seid umschlungen Millionen
In the Symphony Nine, called “The Choral,”
The baritone sings us the moral:
O Friends, not these sounds!
Let Joy know no bounds!
Embrace the whole world and don’t quarrel!
THE PIANO MUSIC
Sonata Form
I would bet that no doubt it is true,
If you studied the piano, that you
Have sought for improvement
By learning a movement
From out of the great “32”.
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A Double Dactyl for L.v.B.: Hammerklavier
Higgledy-piggledy
Ludwig van Beethoven
Bothered his neighbors by
Playing at night.
When they complained he most
Undiplomatically
Hammered sonatas with
All of his might.
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A Double Dactyl for L.v.B.: The Bright Side
Higgledy-piggledy
Ludwig van Beethoven,
Finding his nephew had
Learned “Für Elise,”
Said, as he bowed to in-
evitability,
“Deafness is blesséd at
Moments like these!”
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Beware the Ides; or, I’d Rather not
(The Diabelli Variations)
“In 1819, as a promotional idea, [Diabelli] decided to try to publish a volume of variations on a "patriotic" waltz he had penned expressly for this purpose, with one variation by every important Austrian composer living at the time, as well as several significant non-Austrians. Fifty-one composers responded with pieces. Beethoven, however, instead of providing just one variation, provided 33.” -- condensed from Wikipedia
Diabelli, to provide
A contribution to the pride
Of Austrians on every side,
Wrote a waltz which he supplied
To all of those most qualified
Among composers nationwide.
These skilled musicians soon complied,
And took the theme to be their guide;
It almost seemed as if they vied
To give him an unending tide
Of variations as they tried
To be the one most bona fide,
Most clever, or most dignified.
But Beethoven, unsatisfied,
By what they wrote, (which he decried
As meretricious, cut and dried,
And lifeless as formaldehyde),
Took the chosen waltz in stride
He gave the little theme a ride.
His fertile brain, when it had pried
The theme for all that it implied,
And plumbed new meaning deep inside,
Found variations multiplied.
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THE OPERA
Fidelio Overtures
When Beethoven finished the score
Of the opera he once called Leonore,*
He had quite a scramble
To write a preamble,
And instead of just one he wrote four.
*Use the English pronunciation
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Fidelio (A Listener's Guide )
Act 1
Leonora*, as a ploy
Dresses as a local boy
And makes the rather rash decision
To get a job at Rocco’s prison.
You might suspect there’d be a snag
When characters show up in drag,
And sure enough, the jailer’s daughter
Falls in love with “him” (but not her).
Now this light and comic story
Threatens to get dark and gory;
So get ready now to plunge in-
To the prison’s gloomy dungeon.
Act 2
In the dungeon, Florestan,
A ragged, dismal sort of man,
Takes this moment to remark,
“My God! It’s really, really, dark!”
Fidelio (that’s Leonora)
Gets to him, and just before a
Fatal blade would end his life
Reveals to all that “he’s” his WIFE!
And then there’s trumpets, and it’s splendid!
And we think the show has ended,
But such thoughts prove premature,
When there’s a second overture!
The plot, at last, gets sorted out.
The villain gets escorted out,
And everyone sings Hip Hurray
(But sing it in a German way),
Before C Major praises of
Fidelity and Married Love.
But I had best be quiet now,
And let the singers take a bow.
*Beethoven did not foresee the needs of my doggerel and called her Leonore. Pace, pace to those who object to my liberty with her name.
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THE STRING QUARTETS
Formats
In all there are sixteen quartets,
They’re considered as good as it gets.
You can stream all of these,
Or else buy MP3s,
Or LPs, or CDs, or cassettes.
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A Double Dactyl for L.v.B.: Per aspera ad astra 2
Higgledy-piggledy
Ludwig van Beethoven,
Told that his string quartet
Couldn’t be played,
Answered with turbulent
Irrationality,
“Then some new instruments
Have to be made.”
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HIS DEAFNESS
Exposition and Development
When Beethoven learned that his ears
Would only survive a few years,
He faced it undaunted
And checked out “Help Wanted,”
And thought about changing careers.
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